For the past year and a half I've been working at a "hautey-tautey" hotel. I originally started working there so I had a job while I was in vocational school, yet six months after I graduate, I'm still there. It wasn't all bad; at first, I really enjoyed it because so many people worked there and it felt like family. I got to know a few people and even become friends with them. Now it's just way too political and there are too many managers and no communication.

Besides, who dreams of growing up to be a front desk clerk?

So, I got a job at a new cyber cafe opening in the area called 'Frigg'n Good'. Yes, that's what it's actually called. I'm pretty excited - I haven't been a barista in a while and it was a fun job. They're also going to be using all Apple products, which I love. Plus, the owner/manager, Jeff, has a crush on me and he's probably twice my age. Instant in.

Speaking of twice people's ages I met up with my friend, Jeremiah, after work. We also hung out with his girlfriend, who happens to be twice his age. Well, almost - 38 vs. 21. I'm shaking in my boots filled with vomit from getting sick at the thought.

The story here is that Jeremiah and I used to date over a year ago, for a little over a year. We broke up, and it was a long road for both of us - he couldn't get over me, and I wanted to be his friend, but I didn't want him to hurt anymore. That was a battle. Finally, he got over me, which is great - I don't want him back. This isn't about jealousy. Eventually, he started branching out, auditioning for plays - this is where he met Amber.

At first she was joking around about how cute he was and how she wanted to have sex with him. Then it turned out she wasn't joking, so they have sex. A few weeks later, the kid's in love. They're going to Vegas at the end of March for spring break. I'm definitely not putting it past those two to get married there (which, if they do, I am never speaking to him again. I've told him my opinion of his situation many times, but he's not listening... they say silence is golden, yes?).

Jeremiah gets blinded by love too easily. It's sad. I'm heartbroken by who he's become.

I have a feeling my co-worker, Eric, will be pretty upset about me leaving the hotel. I should recruit him at Frigg'n Good... that would be frigg'n amazing.

The time: 1:50 A.M. central daylight time. Saturday, February 26th.

What am I doing? Chatting online to a guy asking me about my exes' penis sizes. What has my life come... to?

One minute I was pretty much mentally declaring my deep like for my guy friend, the next that all comes crashing down because he comes to my work... with his ex. The same one who doesn't like me because she thought I was trying to steal him while they were together.

Let me just clean my slate by saying that isn't true. I wasn't sexually interested in him until after they broke up. And, he started it.

He suggested that we should be cuddle "bunnies". Yes, that's right. Bunnies. I corrected him at the time and laughed at his naivety, but now I wonder... rabbits are pretty frisky. What if it were intentional?

I digress. She and I talked civilly, but she was talking to me like they were going to go home together. I mean, the dude even cooked dinner for her. I'm usually pretty keen on telling when I'm being played... and honestly, I could feel it the entire time. I just didn't want to believe it. He was just too perfect.

I know, I know, pobody's nerfect, love is perfect when we embrace imperfections, the world would be boring if everyone were perfect, BLAH. If you're going to hold my head under water you might as well make sure it burns, right?

Time went on, we kept hooking up, he said I was the only one he was hooking up with, he'd like to date me but he wants to be single because he was in a bad relationship (apparently it wasn't that bad otherwise they wouldn't be together now, amirite?), and every other excuse in the book. I just took it like the innocent little girl I am (ha!) because I knew, just one day, he might possibly potentially per chance come around.

Because that always happens.

So, saw him with his ex = out of my life. Sorry, but when you burn me, you're out for good.

In the meantime, I am ready to face tomorrow headstrong. With great rage comes great inspiration.







(...And this is how I resorted to talking to a random stranger about my sex life. Hooray for morals!)